last evening had dinner with mum, and visit home again. yang's mum went on a hol. and the house left to my care..hmm.. no la.. but washing cleaning etc. just a bit of housework cause me to sweat and ache. is not like i never do housework before. but i was sloppy since my own house is a mess itself - why should i bother. but living under the roofs of others made me ponder to be spick and span and not to be a burden to people.

i miss pa , ma and all my pets so much. is it my absence or neglect, i come home to see my ah ger manifest with bugs. and the bugs were so huge i wonder anyone at home noticed it at all? my da jie called to bug me again. saying that i throw their face etc.. "you are too much" etc.. all the same things.. all abt face and reputation and whatever. at least my conscience is clear. i'm not throwing their face. even my teachers supported me, cant u see? but i manage to maintain silence and not throw hurtful words at her irritating tone. she will never try hard enough. there is only one motive for me to go home, to save some bit of face for her.

then she called again and blah blah blah. until i reply sth" why is ah ger infected with bugs like no one care abt her" and her only response" ai ya everyone so busy ah long only care abt corgi " again is abt other ppl. how abt you? have you done anything. if everyone so god damm busy abt their lifes so anxious so stressed up. do you heck care abt your own children. talk abt responsibilities some more. wonder you ever play your part.

i know everyone is fucking busy with this and that. but at least i take the time to spend more time with my parents and even have spend 30 mins plucking out the bugs from the pets. and spending another 40 mins kissing and hugging them. and every now and then i'll meet dad and bring the dogs out for a walk. yes everyone is so god damm busy. is just bull shit. u always have the time to play with their fur but never the time to comb their hair. u always have the time to meet your bfs but nvr the time to bring them out. u. forever have excuses.

bcos our lives are like that. every min pass by without knowing what we have done for the day. have we idle the day away? or is life so hectic that it left no means for you to take a break and enjoy. and your enjoy include no family, no animals but whatever shopping or tea breaks. i call this selfish.

if you cant keep pets or rear them like your child, if you cant show enough compassion. dont even claim your an animal lover. it makes me sick. i see no love. only all words. "tonight i'll bathe her" thats what u said on e phone. tell me when you have done it. i really hate to hear any words that comes our from your lips.

i'm feeling so tired when i talk abt my siblings. i know my temper has gotten better. i seldom yell at yang. always able to compromise. perhaps i'm improving as i avoid the harsh environment at home where everyone is king and queens and live never in the consideration of others ( so those who claim they do ). i'm glad i'm closer to mum, to dad.. i'm glad i see things the way i do.

exams nearing. . . wish me luck!
so many ppl's bday i'm going to miss.
so HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL SEPTEMBER BABIES!
"HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY KELLY!" (1ST SEP)
"HAPPY 19TH BITHDAY LEON!" (11TH SEP)
"HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY WEIYU!" (27 SEP)
"HAPPY 29TH BIRTHDAY SERENA!" (30 SEP)
ok... thats it. dont know who i miss. but if we meet up, i know i owe you one. GIFT and huG! =)

tonight having dinner with yang. hope his sis will join us since she cook better than me =) we are having pasta with fish fillet ! ^_^ got to go hang the laundry!